We focus on life.
We focus on the people we share this life with, the activities with which we fill our lives, and the impact that we have on the here and now.
We don't want to think about death, and yet there it is.
All of a sudden, it comes out of nowhere and makes itself known in the loudest and most unappreciated of ways.
When death visits the elderly, it makes sense, right? It doesn't make the loss of a loved one easier to handle, but there is something about understanding that an individual got the better part of a century worth of life that eases the pain and helps us to accept it.
In most other cases... when death comes to children, to victims of violent crimes, to patients with terminal illnesses, or to victims of tragic accidents it makes much less sense. And it hurts a lot more.
Seemingly senseless deaths in this world are numerous, and completely and utterly heartbreaking.
They leave friends, family, and loved ones reeling with questions about what could have been done differently, how maybe some tragic accident could have been prevented or avoided.
The mental turmoil that follows these types of tragedies is incomprehensible.
For those of us that believe in an All-Loving God, it is so hard to understand why a loved one would be taken so early? Why would He take a mother from her children? Why would He prevent her from being a part of her grandchildren's lives? Why would He take a wife away from her loving husband so soon? WHY!?
The questions can go on and on, and-- I'm sorry but the party line of "Trust in His plan" just really doesn't provide that much comfort to those mourning.
It's never been enough for me.
I believe in God, and I really do believe that He "has a plan"... but, for me, that has always felt like a very impersonal and distant way to think about life and the world.
We don't function on a daily basis on the thinking that all that we do or don't do is part of the eternal plan of God. We can't handle that.
Seriously, I mean maybe you can... but I surely can't... I think I'd crumble into a ball if I had to consider myself against the eternal existence of the universe and beyond. I mean, holy crap.
We are only humans, after all, and as humans we are social beings that rely on each other for support, friendship, and love.
So when one of our own is taken from us before it seems like his or her time, this is what I believe:
I believe that it is exactly their time.
I believe that each of us has something unique that we were put on this earth to relay-- maybe to the world, or maybe to one single other person who is going to go on to share it with some other person who is going to do something so great that it is going to shake the heavens.
I believe that we remain on this earth until exactly the time that we have shared our last piece of wonderful purpose with the world.
I believe that the love that each of us has to give runs out at some point, and I believe that as humans we ARE love. When there is no more of ourselves to give, there is no other option but to leave this place, and in having shared all of our love we leave it a better place than when we arrived.
I believe that when "the good die young" it is truly exactly that... that they have given all the good that they can give to those around them. These wonderful people, who are so deeply and truly missed on this earth, shared more with those they came into contact with in their short time than some do with an extra 60 years.
I try to think about these beliefs when I hear all of the terrible news stories about people being senselessly killed all over our country (targeted or not).
Rather than focusing on the sadness I try to consider who has been impacted by these tragedies, what lessons can come out of it, and how those individuals have left a legacy that is going to live on beyond their life with us.
Because really, no death is ever a singular event. We are all connected and, as such, the world shifts with every birth and death. Those who have died have left children, spouses, friends, acquaintances who are forever changed by having known that one person.
How wonderful is that?
You are the person that you are today because of the people you have known and been close to.
Each person that leaves this world in death has touched and helped form so many other people, it's really beautiful to consider.
Maybe this is just me sugar coating death in my own way, but it helps me deal with and wrap my head around these awful situations, and I felt obliged to share it with you today.
Maybe you haven't experienced loss recently... but maybe you have, and if you have I hope that maybe these thoughts can hold you and comfort your heart during this difficult time.
-B-
