Perception IS reality, plain and simple.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Right now I'm reading "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero and it's totally rocking my world. 

Her ideas aren't revolutionary... I'm sure they are ideas that can be found in many other similar books, blogs, seminars, whatever... but it's the way she presents her ideas that totally rocks.
She doesn't sugar coat anything, and I love it.

Chapter 11: Your Brain is Your Bitch is where my bookmark currently resides, and I've found myself reading and rereading sections of this chapter for a couple of days... because it's freaking AWESOME!

It's so true... our perceptions of life ARE our realities... because that's all life really is anyways, right?? My reality is different than your reality-- not because we live in two different dimensions or planets, but because the way that I see the world and you see the world can not possibly be the same. 
We may not hold opposing viewpoints on everything, but our experiences have shaped our perceptions and expectations of the future.
Some perceive injustices in all things, and some perceive opportunities in all things. 

Think about it. 
Do you know anyone who is so resoundingly happy in their life that you envy them for it? They've probably had some struggles... maybe even some really big, terrible, fat, in your face failures or tragedies but they still carry on with a smile and a genuinely gracious heart.
On the other side of the spectrum, do you know someone who seems to have everything they could ever want or need and yet all they do is complain and reach for more?? Terrible to be around, right?

What's the difference here? It's all mindset.

You are what you believe you are. Plain and simple. 
If you believe that you are blessed beyond measure, then you will be. 


The past couple of years for me have been a battle in believing in myself. 

I graduated from college, got married, worked full time and felt totally purposeful and content with my life. We had an awesome first year of marriage where we shared the household duties, spent our evenings and weekends together or in the company of good friends.... and then with the snap of a finger (it seemed) we were flipped totally upside down.
My husband started his training with the military and we moved away from our families for the first time.
I went from bringing in half of our family's income to bringing in none of it... from doing some of the household chores (but really, honestly not that many because my husband is wayyyyyyy better at it than me) to doing ALL OF THEM. 

housewife chores cleaning fulfillment love life happiness thoughts belief military spouse stay at home

"I don't want to be a housewife." 
"I am not good at cleaning."
"I'm the Queen of Clutter."
"I don't have any friends here."
"This is f-ing terrible."
These are the negative thoughts that were pounding inside my head for a solid few months.

And I tell you what.. they all came true. I couldn't keep our house clean to save my life, my crap was ev-ry-where, I would cry on the phone to my friends from home about all of the above, and I was adding stress to my husband's already overly stressful days. It wasn't fair to him and it DEFINITELY wasn't fair to me. 
So I changed my mindset. 

After I spent about 3 months wallowing in self-deprecating thoughts about how terrible it all was, I realized that I was the only one who could change it. 
There certainly wasn't a magic fairy who was going to come out of the walls and make it happen for me. 

I accepted the fact that at this time in our life, I need to be a housewife. This is my role on our team right now... So I better be damn good at it. 
I made charts with what days I would clean different parts of the house (I meeeeean I didn't always stick to them, but at least there was a plan). 
I made lists of what I would make us for dinner each week, and it gave my husband and I something to look forward to during long days of training.
I would spend 10 minutes a day trying to get my clutter under control-- sometimes that literally just meant shoving it all in the back of my closet, but who cares? 
And you know what... as I started to change my mentality about these mundane tasks that I thought I hated, I began to feel like myself again. 
I enrolled in a program to become a Personal Trainer, because I needed to invest some time in developing myself and my own interests.
I got a cat, because GOSH DARNIT if I couldn't find any human friends I was absolutely going to have an animal friend ;)
AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED??? I made one of the most amazing friends of my whole life. 

Taking silly selfies in the Commandant's house... we knew it was meant to be at this point :)

It's incredible what can happen for you when you simply open your mind and allow possibilities to present themselves to you.
I was finally happy again. I was taking control back, and it all started with my mindset! 

Change didn't happen with the snap of a finger, and I am absolutely still a work in progress... but since I have changed my mindset and become open to that progress, I have found my daily life so much more rewarding.

What negative energy are you holding onto right now?

Is there something in your life that you could interpret differently if you just would allow yourself?

If you can begin to view every struggle as an opportunity to grow and improve yourself, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel. It takes such a weight off your shoulders!

There will always be things in life that you can't control.
What you CAN and MUST control is your reaction to those outside forces. 

Do you want to be a pillar of joy or sorrow?
It really is that simple. Make the decision now. 
And consider your thoughts carefully as you move throughout your days.

Your thoughts become your reality... choose wisely.

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